Never going to write a book

Writer’s life is full of setbacks, self-doubt and almost giving up. Especially when we haven’t yet published anything or when no one has yet given us the appreciation we wait so keenly. Maybe I’m not good enough? Heck, I can’t even finish one book so how could this work? I’m never going to write that book inside my brains. My words just aren’t coming out.

Life as a writer seems like a dream impossible to achieve. Even after you earn money full time from writing, it won’t get better. At least not right away. I made money from my writings for first a little over a year ago. Right now I’m starting my own business for my writing work. Soon I will be a full-time writer who earns enough money to maintain writer’s lifestyle. Dream. At any moment I will wake up, realize it won’t work out and then I just give up. No writing for me.

I can’t even finish one book so how could writing be my thing.

A few hundred pages, an average of ten to twenty important characters and the story that is already in your mind. The words just won’t come out. My white paper doesn’t stay white but that doesn’t mean you could see any words. The lines are empty while colorful patterns appear from my pen to the corners of the paper. For me, doodling is the way not to write. For others, it’s cleaning, working in office, sleeping, reading, anything. Anything if we don’t have to start writing the book we have always wanted to write.

Just one book. I want to write just one amazingly interesting book that will change the world. Something for others to read. Something to leave behind me in this world. Just one story written in my doodled papers.

“Being a writer all boils down to this: It’s you, in a chair, staring at a page. And you’re either going to stay in that chair until words are written, or you’re going to give up and walk away.”
– Alessandra Torre


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